Monday, October 3, 2011

The New Adventure

Breathe.

I got in a twitter conversation with some authors yesterday. They are all indi-published, brilliant women that I greatly enjoy reading and interacting with. While looking for information for the new book blog I'm starting I came across an article on wordpress--the irony is not lost on me. In my self-appointed role of "positive reinforcer" (that's for you Tammara) I tweeted the article out to the gals. Imagine my surprise when I was asked: are you going to NaNo? In a knee-jerk, immediate response I tweeted back "I'm not a writer." I laughed out loud at the preposterous thought. I'm a reader; two, three books a week THAT'S what I do. It's why I decided to start a book blog. (Yes, I know that involves writing, people, just work with me here. I'm about to have an epiphany.)
And, yet...
When I went back and read the first post on this blog for the tumor-versary. I was stunned. I wrote that?! Those words were too eloquent, too well put together, too...too..too... to have come from me. I certainly don't SPEAK that way. My thoughts aren't close to that cohesive! I'm NOT a writer, am I?
There was this quiet, little voice in my head saying, "You used to be. You used to write everyday. You used to have notebooks full of stories, and poetry. You spent more time inside your own head and imagined worlds then in the real one. You used to spend hours scribbling on a page. What happened?" Have I been neglecting a gift I've been given? Is this why, seemingly out of nowhere, I'm making connections with these authors? Could I do this? Do I even want to? Regardless of want, am I supposed to? Is this why I haven't been able to find a job? Am I crazy for even contemplating this kind of a commitment? I'm not very disciplined; is this even worth trying? What if I don't try? Is this another thing I'm going to attempt and just be mediocre? Am I wasting a talent I'm supposed to be using?
All these questions from 2 simple comments created enough confusion to keep me up late after a LONG day of serving the choir. Enough questions to give me butterflies, and tear up about writing this post, and I am not overtly emotional. Enough questions to resolve me to two things. I'm going to do the Wordpress post a day challenge until November 1, either here or on the new book blog. I'm going to NaNo and have a completed novel by the end of November, which is omg terrifying! I will exercise the atrophied muscle of my creativity and see what comes from it. One day, I might even thank Tammara, Michelle, and Addison for nudging me towards this path--maybe. For now, though, I think I'm going to be sick.

5 comments:

M. Leighton said...

SQUEEEEEEE! I am SO tickled for you! It's a scary leap, but I am THRILLED that you're taking it. I think you will make an amazing writer! A-MAZ-ING!! YAY, Heather!! Now WE can cheer for YOU:) Love!

Addison Moore said...

Heather! First, I want to say I am in awe of your faith and SO honored to know you. I read your link to the tumor-vesary and I pray all things are well with you today and always!

I do believe you have a gift with words. Do you have any idea what genre, fiction, non fiction, or any general direction you'd like to move in with your writing? I volunteer to be your personal cheerleader. =) If you can, try and read at least one to two books on the craft of writing each month and remember that the best thing you can do is read tons within your own genre. Write everyday, even if it's just a sentence or two, that way you'll get used to putting out the effort. Let me know if you need anything, girl! Ready, set, go!!!! =)

Tiffany said...

Love it! Yes, you need to be writing. :)

tammara said...

Yes! Yes! I'm so proud of you, Heather. :) You are a wonderful and supportive positive reinforcer (haha!!). I'd read your tumor-versay post already, and wondered how you could say that you weren't a writer after writing THAT, but people need to come to their own conclusions in their own time.

You can do it, girl. You have something important to say. Now go say it.

Heather said...

M-Thank you so much! I so love your enthusiasm. You can be my pixie tie-pin now ;)

Addison-wow. thank you. i am completely humbled by your comment. Almost made me cry (where'd these crazy emotions come from?!) YA fiction genre is it for me with paranormal/fantasy subclass as my fav within it. Are there books you (or any of the others) would recommend?

Tpalm-Thanks,girl! See ya Sunday!

Tammara-I blame you! LOL. Your comment made me grin like an idiot so thanks!

Y'all just remember what you've started when I come everything is all SNAFU'ed and I come crying to you :)