Wednesday, August 27, 2008

i have a brain tumor...

...no that's not a joke or just some catchy title to start off my first ever blog post--which I SWORE I would never have. I was diagnosed yesterday with a meninigioma --basically a growth in the meninges of my brain--sorry to all you medical professionals for incorrect spells and such but I'm just learning this stuff :) I meet with a neurosurgeon today to find out if the tumor is irritating the vein on top of my head and thereby causing my headaches (which have been occuring for the past 6-8 months) or if I'm just lucky and have the tumor in addition to headaches. The American Brain Tumor Association (I know, I was just as surprised to learn of their existence) has great info about meningiomas. Feel free to check it out. http://www.abta.org/siteFiles/sitePages/BC633774088193FEFBB0303C852478BD.pdf

So, some of my family is a little freaked out about it and I find myself being the one to offer comfort. My grandmother keeps telling me "you're so strong, you're so strong" but I'm not. I am a weak-fleshed human being. The ONLY way for me to "be strong" is to be weak and let Christ be my strength and work through me. I am not strong but can do ALL things through Him. He is my rock and my salvation.

One of my favorite people asked me yesterday "How's your heart?' I loved being able to tell him that I'm excited. Some of you are probably now having to go back and read that sentence again because surely I couldn't be crazy enough to be excited about a tumor? Hey, i have a tumor, i can be a little crazy. :) I'm so excited to see how God is going to use this to show others just how AWESOME and amazing He is, I'm excited to have the opportunity to grow to trust Him even more with health, with life, with finances; I'm excited to see how He is going to use me to show His overwhelming and abundant love for us.

If there's anyone reading this who isn't a believer, at this point, they are really thinking I'm crazy. This crazy chic has a tumor and continues to believe that God loves her abundantly--my response would be the line to a MercyMe song that goes "Could circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You?" So who am I? I am a holy, and beloved child of God, saved by grace through the loving sacrifice of His son Christ Jesus who faced the punishment of God and died so that I might have an eternal life, and relationship with Him instead of separation and wrath. A brain tumor is nothing compared to what Jesus went through for me; He knew me before i was born, He knit me in my mother's womb, He has all my days counted, He hems me in and there is no where I can go that He is not there. There is nothing else I COULD do but praise Him, and love Him (so overwhelmingly) and thank Him for being who He is and allowing me to serve Him in this way.

8 comments:

mandyafp said...

I'm "with" you in your excitement about what God is going to do in/through/for/with you through this tumor. He is amazing...I'm also praying with and for you (and your family) through this season of life. Thanks for the blog - I'm gonna link it to our blog and do you mind if I pass it along to some prayer warriors (who have been there)?!

Heather said...

Pass along all you want :)

Christy said...

Heather,

You're faith is amazing and I know will be an encouragement to so many. Let your light shine before all men in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
I know we live close by and I'm at home with Luke. Please let me know if I can watch the boys, take them to school or if you need meals. I would love to serve your family in this time. Just let us know what you need. We're on our knees on your behalf- it has been a joy.
Christy Schooler (christy@theschoolers.com)

Collins Family said...

We are praying for you, sister and confidently wait to see God's plan unfold. Thank you for the update, we will check it often :) Please be sure to let us know how we can help/serve/pray - I'm sure my waffles compare to yours but I am sure we could come up with something else :)

Betsy said...

Heather, thank you for sharing this with me and building my faith! Love, Betsy

ASuh said...

Anna told me the news last night - thanks for keeping us in the loop. We'll be praying for you and your family! Let us know what we can do to help . . .

april morales said...

i am praying for you Heather... that God would be glorified and lifted up as the complete Satisfier and Restorer to all. i pray for your family and for the road ahead. praise God He knows everything we need, when we need it.
i pray phil 4.4-7 over you and your family.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!
Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

joanna said...

You say patience is your unripe fruit. Well, I disagree! This entry shows evidence that all your fruits (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) are more than ripe to me. And to continue on with your analogy from your 3rd blog, in their ripeness, I love that you are picking from them and sharing them abundantly with others!! Your words display a heart that is filled with the fruits of the Spirit! Thank you for sharing this season of life with others. It is a "good" thing - to be glorifying the Lord in a time where one might be prone to giving up and growing weary.

"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."
Gal 6:9

It will an awesome thing to see what harvest the Lord has for you!!