...no that's not a joke or just some catchy title to start off my first ever blog post--which I SWORE I would never have. I was diagnosed yesterday with a meninigioma --basically a growth in the meninges of my brain--sorry to all you medical professionals for incorrect spells and such but I'm just learning this stuff :) I meet with a neurosurgeon today to find out if the tumor is irritating the vein on top of my head and thereby causing my headaches (which have been occuring for the past 6-8 months) or if I'm just lucky and have the tumor in addition to headaches. The American Brain Tumor Association (I know, I was just as surprised to learn of their existence) has great info about meningiomas. Feel free to check it out. http://www.abta.org/siteFiles/sitePages/BC633774088193FEFBB0303C852478BD.pdf
So, some of my family is a little freaked out about it and I find myself being the one to offer comfort. My grandmother keeps telling me "you're so strong, you're so strong" but I'm not. I am a weak-fleshed human being. The ONLY way for me to "be strong" is to be weak and let Christ be my strength and work through me. I am not strong but can do ALL things through Him. He is my rock and my salvation.
One of my favorite people asked me yesterday "How's your heart?' I loved being able to tell him that I'm excited. Some of you are probably now having to go back and read that sentence again because surely I couldn't be crazy enough to be excited about a tumor? Hey, i have a tumor, i can be a little crazy. :) I'm so excited to see how God is going to use this to show others just how AWESOME and amazing He is, I'm excited to have the opportunity to grow to trust Him even more with health, with life, with finances; I'm excited to see how He is going to use me to show His overwhelming and abundant love for us.
If there's anyone reading this who isn't a believer, at this point, they are really thinking I'm crazy. This crazy chic has a tumor and continues to believe that God loves her abundantly--my response would be the line to a MercyMe song that goes "Could circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You?" So who am I? I am a holy, and beloved child of God, saved by grace through the loving sacrifice of His son Christ Jesus who faced the punishment of God and died so that I might have an eternal life, and relationship with Him instead of separation and wrath. A brain tumor is nothing compared to what Jesus went through for me; He knew me before i was born, He knit me in my mother's womb, He has all my days counted, He hems me in and there is no where I can go that He is not there. There is nothing else I COULD do but praise Him, and love Him (so overwhelmingly) and thank Him for being who He is and allowing me to serve Him in this way.