I started having headaches around October of last year. It started out as what felt like eye strain so naturally I went to the optometrist first thinking it was time for a new prescription. Well nothing had changed so the assumption was changed to allergies. I'd never suffered from them before (and was quite smug about it) but I'd had several people say to me if you live in Austin long enough you'll develop allergies. The five year mark seemed to be the birthday for allergies and we had just finished our 5th year here.
So I went to my GP and the symptoms jived with allergies for her too. Thus started the LONG and tedious process of trying different allergy medications. None of them worked and the headaches were starting to get progressively worse. By March I was taking OTC (over the counter) pain meds at least once a day. Went back to the GP in June and she had some Xrays done of my sinuses. Apparently she saw something she didn't like in them because I was on a double strength, double antibiotic for a month, but it STILL wasn't helping the headaches. So back to the doctor again and some med switch ups. She put me on a headache prevention med (which helped with the intensity of the pain but didn't get rid of it completely) and she gave me the name of a neurologist.
The week before school started I went to the neurologist--my brain lady--and she took me off all OTCs. I was up to 4-6 Advil a day and she took them away from me. Turns out she wasn't just being cruel, though you couldn't have convinced me otherwise at the time, but there is a thing called analgesic overuse syndrome which can actually cause you headaches. So she was right. Mark your calendars people, I said someone else was right. Getting off the OTCs helped with one kind of headache but not the other. Did I mention I was having two different kinds of headaches? The "pressure" headaches were the ones that concerned the brain lady so she scheduled me for an MRI, and the rest is history.
So when I'm told that I'm "handling this well" it's partly because there is FINALLY an answer to what has been a long and frustrating process. There is a reason (well, possible reason if you go by what the brain man says, brain lady gives better then 50-50 odds on the tumor being the headache cause) for all the headaches I've been having, and it's a relief to know it's something treatable.
This is not to say that the whole process has been easy. There have been times when the pain has been so intense that all I could do is cry (literally) out to God for comfort and help and healing. The ONLY reason I was and am able to handle it well is because I trust in God's sovereignty. That there is a purpose and a plan for all of the things we are going through (I say we cause the poor hubby gets to go through it too), even if it's just to rely on Him more and bring us closer to Him. That doesn't mean I haven't been frustrated or worried or scared, it just means when those emotions start to take over I can now tell myself "Stop. That's not yours to handle. Give it back to God so He can take care of it for you. He can do it better anyway" I can truly say that without faith that God is in control, without Christ as my Rock and without the training I received at The Stone and the spiritual growing that has accomplished this would not be handled as well as it has been. Not even close; probably more fits of hysteria and much weeping and gnashing of teeth, so thanks to all The "Stoners" out there.
Whew! Sorry for such a long post. Take it in small bites, it'll be easier to digest that way :)