Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Birthday Woes/Me Me Me
So not only am I a bad blogger-- today I am feeling like a bad mother (and wife but more on that later). Tomorrow is Liam's birthday and I have nothing planned. He has been talking about a party for months (we tried to talk him into laser tag at blazer laser but he insists on a party) and I have no idea what it's going to look like or how to get a few of his friends here, since it's a little late for invitations, or even if I can handle a party. I know Brad will help but it's been a rough week for him ( this is the wife part). He's pretty much been dealing with the kids, and housework since my mom left and has surpassed his level of patience. I feel horrible not being able to do more to help him and completely frustrated and annoyed with this stupid body. Not only that I'm just tired of being me; tired of talking about me (and that sounds bad because i know people are asking out of genuine concern so we can add guilt to the list of bad feelings); and I'm annoyed that I can't seem to take the focus off me and onto God and what He is doing. and frustrated that I can't see it. That's it. I'm done. If I keep going it's going to keep being about my frustrations and me.