Umm...wow

It's been more then a month since I've posted anything; that is really kind of pathetic. I follow other people's blogs regularly but can't even keep up with mine. In my defense it's much easier to read than write :) So what's going on here? Well firstly there has been no radiation yet. Good or bad? I can't quite decide. The last scan I had (mid-December) showed some "areas to watch" but no definitive tumor tissue. This can mean one of two things: 1)the docs got more of the tumor then they thought and the tumor is gone (not likely, but here's hoping) 2) the tumor is too small right now for the MRI to pick it up (and my brain still hasn't quite healed enough) and so we have to wait and let the tumor grow some more--sounds like fun there let me tell you. So in March I will go for another scan to see what we can see. I feel like a broken record..scan, meet with the doc, scan, meet with the doc, scan...

P. T. is still ongoing as well. I think I'll ask today how much longer I have. I'm surprised by two things 1) how much and how quickly it has improved my stamina and 2) how much of a weakling I still am. I realize surgery was really not that long ago, only 3 months, and yet it feels like I should still be able to do more then I can. I still have those unknown limits that I talked about in other post but fortunately the limits keep getting better.

Since it's New year's Eve I'll go ahead and wish everyone a Happy New Year. I'll try to be better about posting int he coming year. Anyone have any resolutions? My mom's is the same every year and one I can get behind "Try to eat more avocados this year then last".

Time for an update of sorts

Physical therapy is a pain--literally. I have one GREAT hour after it where all the endorphins have kicked in and caffeine from the coffee I get after and it ROCKS! That is the way I wish i left all the time, but the crash inevitabley occurs and I feel worse then before and really sore the next day. I'm hoping eventually this tortuous cycle will lead to actually feeling great and if nothing else my abs are getting nice and tight--six pack here I come! Ok maybe maybe a four pack.
No radiation yet. My brain has not healed enough for them to accurately say whether the big white spot on the MRI is tumor or scar tissue. Fortunately, the doc doing my radiation also assisted on my surgery so he KNOWS there is tumor tissue there they just need a clearer picture for the "ray gun". That means another MRI in December. I really hope the next pic is clear enough to see what we need to see so everything can get done before the new year and we have to start of with deductibles and all that fun stuff.
Speaking of pics...I posted a new one to facebook. I have some hair now and the incision looks more like your typical scar now. It also doesn't look quite as big since my hair is getting longer. though when you look at it from the front i have this lovely little part in the middle of my head--I've been calling it my no-hawk. It's also been called a reverse mohawk, a runway, and a landing strip...where do people come up with these things :)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=74040&l=403a7&id=696305902

"Ray Gun" Radiation

Today I had an MRI in preparation for radiation treatment on the remainder of the tumor--and am thanking God that I did not blow myself up. Undergarments with wire and giant magnetic machines don't normally go together but i had no problems. I follow-up Wednesday with the Cyber-knife doc about my treatment plan. So you're probably completely confused by now since I haven't posted recently about well...much of anything :) The Cyber-knife is a directed radiation tool used on tumors--think laser but the beam is radiation and not light. This is REALLY exciting because it means I will probably not be having blanket radiation (i have no idea if this is the proper terminology but it's my blog so :P ) It means no burns on my head, no hair loss, no dental complications, etc... The only complication/side effect is fatigue and I'm a champion sleeper so I can handle that one. I can not even begin to tell you how good this news is for us. I'll have a dead tumor with minimal side-effects, very slim regrowth chance, and it could take as little as an hour for the procedure. I'll even be able to drive myself home. What a blessing to live in a time and a country where modern medical technology makes it easier for good health to be regained!

I've also started physical therapy. I was having neck and shoulder pain along with the headaches before surgery and am now having lower back pain. Let me just say physical therapists are mean, mean mean! Nothing personal of course, I just find it counter intuitive that in order to get rid of pain you have to experience more pain. Anyone else see a problem with this?! I have about one month's worth of therapy for now and then we'll see after completing this round where things stand. I'm hoping all this stretching and stuff I'm having to do will add an inch or two to my height.

Help!...Again

I love getting those notes home from school letting you know the kids are out the following school day. Today we got one of those and I have an MRI scheduled for Monday morning. Anyone want to babysit 2 cuddly kiddos (ok maybe not so cuddly but they're cute!) for a couple hours on Monday? I'll be at the women's retreat this weekend-hooray!-but Brad can check the blog for comments if anyone is available. Thanks a bunch and I will update on radiation and physical therapy (ugh) soon.

Ahhhh

Today, I am one step closer to being fully recovered.

I had beef fajitas and it was beautiful. I'd been craving them for quite some time (maybe I need the iron) and today that craving was fulfilled. I'm a happy gal. Now I just need some Godiva truffles and my bliss will be complete. It truly is the little things.

EDIT: The hubby ATE my leftovers!! Grrrr....I really wanted them for lunch. Next time I'm hiding them.

Way over due

So I am way over due for an update and hope I can get it all down-err up?-before my body tells me to stop. Thank goodness for spell check or this thing would look really ugly. So here we go:

Health-As with each topic I'm going to update there will probably be some good and some bad. Let's start with the bad news and get it over with--I'm having headaches. i don't say still because these are different from the ones before. I'm also having some severe muscle cramping/seizing in my neck, upper back, and upper right arm as well as pain in the lower back. It makes sitting for extended periods of time a little difficult. I had ANOTHER CT scan today to find out if it's a head problem and I also start physical therapy next week for my back and neck to see if it's a muscle problem. I also will FINALLY meet with a doctor about radiation treatment on Thursday of next week. There is a small possibility I won't have to have radiation but we are not counting on that. I am still not able to comfortably bend over or look down (at least for very long) which leads to a bigger complaint down the page.

Good news is that energy wise I'm feeling better. I still don't know what my physical limits are until I've passed them but my limits are getting longer. There is also an amazing group of women who have arranged for me to have help with housework once every other week until the end of the year. This has been such a blessing as it has taken pressure off both me and Brad in regards to all the housework; my frustration at not being more capable, and his at having to do so much in addition to work.

Finances: Bills have started coming in and so far have not been bad in relation to the kind of surgery. There have been a couple hiccups with insurance denying a few claims but after calling they are supposedly going to be taken care of. Insurance just needs to refile the claim. The relative ease of the finance aspect has been a big time stress reliever.

Spiritual: Brad will have to speak for himself, but for me I'm very frustrated with my inability to interactively study. I can listen to bible verses/chapters on line but that generally ends up putting me to sleep (as do Piper sermons--he has a very soothing voice). NOT that any of them are boring or uninteresting, I just need to be able to read and respond (ie journal) to feel like I'm really getting it. Praise music has been a great ministry to me (as it always is cause music is the best) as has the extra praying but I am a big reader and so miss that a lot. Emotionally there are still ups and downs. I'm definitely more up when I'm able to get out and be around other people--who knew how important community was, and this is really funny coming from me cause I'm an introvert--and lower when I have to spend extended periods of time at home with limited distractions and no hobbies available.

Right now, overall, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm signed up for the women's retreat next weekend and am sooooo looking forward to it. I hope it will be a good charge for the batteries before heading in to radiation.

I also can not begin to express the gratitude we have for all the prayers, meals, party throwing, house cleaning, kid watching and driving offers that have come from everyone. I HATE to feel like a burden and we have been served so joyfully that it has made it easier to ask for help when we really need it; it doesn't mean I LIKE to ask for help (hate it as a matter of fact) but it's getting easier for me to ask which is progress, and that's a good thing :)

Lactose free Goodness

I can have my cake and eat it too! Well...milk and yogurt anyway. I have "discovered" the BEST milk. Most lactose-free milk is REALLY sweet and kinda gross (this goes for soy milk too) but HEBs Mootopia milk actually tastes like milk. Imagine that! And goat's milk yogurt actually tastes like yogurt (tried a coconut milk version and I was not a big fan) Next on the list....find a good ice cream. I know there's gelato but I haven't seen it in a freezer section to bring home :)